this might be the end.......

i think i have tried my best.. i really do. maybe im not the one in her heart.. im just a loner as she walks away from me.

19th Nov

Im leaving for camp soon. As i saw her nick in msn, my heart jus feel like something is squeezing hard on it. i really yearn to talk to her, but i jus cant bring myself to it, fearing will hurt her more. Even though she does not think there is someone ard who loves her alot, i will always be at a corner waiting to be there if she needs me. My feelings are so mixed up now. I dunno wat to do, wat to do to make her happy. I always thought that im gd at making her happy but im wrong.Seriously wrong. I know nuts. I sincerely pray to god will always bless her with happiness and gd care.

painful

i have always love u so much but might not be realised by u and appreciated by u. Sometimes its very hard to describe how i feel... just that my heart just feel very pain, tears jus drop on its own. U had never trust me no doubt how much effort i put in, i really did try my best, i really did. i wanna give my best to u, making u feel loved. The only thing tht i had in mind during weekdays is to see u on weekends. but im just a liar in ur eyes, a person who still love his ex-gf. it really hurts me alot by saying those words to me. i haved lied to u in the past, but i really did not lie now. who will understand me? i miss u badly and could only look at the photos i had of u. i could only keep all this in my heart. u will not believe me. no one does. i really wish i could see u, talk to u, see u smile... but that would not happen.. u will always be in my heart, take care and rem to take medicine and ur meals. i will not make u feel painful anymore.